| + he + | Thursday, April 28, 2005 9:09 PM |
he came to my home today. slack around pretty much... then he just went off to meet chiaseng and gerald. okaess... omg channon and diana is the kinda couple that have the kinda relationship you basically won't ever understand. that's quite frustrating as a matter of fact. but never mind 'cuz i don't know them personally =/ wish 'em all da best though... you know i'm so excited... 'cuz goon actually told zijing to ask weicheng and i to meet up together... i mean... seriously i'm so thrilled! does it sound stupid? 'cuz... i'm really freakin' excited! it's like... wow!!! hahahaha... indescribable... it's totally cool. oh pat needs me now. blog later~ | |
사랑해요 | |
| smilez | Wednesday, April 27, 2005 4:18 AM |
how cool is this.. check out my brand new pink-like-nobody's-business template. lol... right i kinda grabbed it off the shelf from blogskins but i did editing here and there alright hahaha... it's pretty cute ain't it? too bad it's a kitty not a monkey >.< oh wells never mind. i'm sure i'll change it pretty soon anyway lol~ | |
사랑해요 | |
| kel's room | 12:17 AM |
hello hello? what happened to my blog. it seems fine. except i can't open the page. but others can. oh wells.. that's pretty mad. but i'm blogging tonight anyway. so i went to kel's house today. it was quite huge for a microwave oven. lol... then boiboi went... and so did chiaseng and daniel. around 6.30pm they went for dinner as well as to meet gerald... wc's and cs's friend. zijing came! haha =p pat called me again. but sad i'm not in town =/ never mind we'll create another chance for ourselves =x maybe i should spend tomorrow treating the rash! it's like come and go. how sucky is that? alrightxx that's about it. i just miss the suki sessions lol~ plates after plates of edamame ;) | |
사랑해요 | |
| `iinfection | Tuesday, April 26, 2005 12:44 AM |
recovered from my sore pretty quickly. it wasn't all that bad. the rash is better too... but still there... i'm sure i'll be fine soon... i sure hope so =/ like i said i went out with boiboi today. went to bugis and had pastamania for lunch... yummy... my ham and sausage baked rice =D~ watched infection after that. it's pretty confusing... the storyline i mean... but it's not too bad... walked to suntec after that and i went to find richelda at tokyo dining!!! so exciting =PpPp well the sad thing was i couldn't meet pat in the end -sigh- i was hoping to see her. oh wellss... slacked at koi garden for a lil while then came back to serangoon to meet kel. so they droned on and on about the conquer online -_-" like as usual... ok then home again now... tmr will be meeting those peeps again... their usual la kopi meet-ups just that i'm gonna tag along lol... let's see if zijing wanna join =x | |
사랑해요 | |
| oh nooo | Monday, April 25, 2005 11:02 AM |
major case... i'm having sore eyes. from no idea what... damn it... and i'm going out later =( somebody save me. yesterday i went to meet huiling... got caught in the rain. my sunburn's only getting more and more painful. i think i'm so weak. i think i'll always remain the kind that stay home all sunday to eat vegetable salad. lol... serious... there's something inside of me that's lacking. so what is it??? meeting boiboi at 1pm. i guess i should get going. i look terrible *sobx* | |
사랑해요 | |
| tiredd | Saturday, April 23, 2005 8:01 PM |
i'm so sleepy bcos i didn't sleep enough at zijing's house. back from sentosa with beekian, leefang and zijing. omg i think i almost dieded at palawan beach lol. not from the scorching sun but from drowning. haha i'm glad i'm alive! >.< i actually saw jayjay there! and well... joseph. then came back to serangoon and found my boiboi. then met kel and chiaseng at yellow chair... then went to the salon with kel and weicheng. then home... i believe i am right now a very lucky girl because i'm blessed with one wonderful guy. let's just hope i learn to cherish whatever i have and be contented. like he says... the important thing is... what's past is past... may i move on from this moment on. | |
사랑해요 | |
| gong gong :: | Thursday, April 21, 2005 9:46 PM |
now im in the gong gong family >.< with my endangered species boiboi... and zijing with her endangered species deardear... maybe candice wanna join too... we'll see how first. so tomorrow meet yanxi, huiyun and xinyi. then at night meet boiboi then meet kel and all. hmmm... saturday 9am SENTOSAAAA. hahahahaha. but i dun wanna sunburn =( ok wadever... | |
사랑해요 | |
| - deh dayy - | 2:05 PM |
well i'm back from zhonghua sports day. finally a lil bit of spare time to blog details before i go to bed. i didn't sleep last night because i was out with weicheng, zijing and goon the entire night till 5am. then met zijing and beekian at 6am. apparantly he shot the ultimate question that i wasn't at all ready for just yet. confusion is probably the after effect... now inside me are knots after knots. i feel the butterflies. something's stirring inside of me. i try to convince myself that it's related to how fast you're committing. but i know there's somethin' else so plastic about it. somehow at this point in time i am unable to devote all of myself. somehow i have a feeling... i never will be able. i'm really trying my very best. there's nothing more i can do. maybe you can do something... otherwise, i simply give in to fate. call me mean, call me bytch... i'm okay... because suddenly i think so too. how long will you hold on? | |
사랑해요 | |
| i.................... | 5:38 AM |
i'm like... suddenly attached? i......... don't know what to say... i never felt this way. i feel like i have to go on normal whether i feel normal or not. or is it i haven't been attached for too long? i think there are things i have to clear up to hopefully make life better. somethings i have to talk to him about. something that will definitely come between my feelings and his. it's not him... it's just me. something's wrong with me.... | |
사랑해요 | |
| * sleeeeep | Wednesday, April 20, 2005 2:42 AM |
i can't get to sleep 'cuz somethin's bothering me. i don't believe this is the right place to shout out. i think i'm reaching a point whereby a decision i have to make soon will not require anymore brain-cracking consideration. is it a good thing or a bad thing? i'm not so sure. i only know.. whatever it is... i think it's working... | |
사랑해요 | |
| . ah lianx ` | Tuesday, April 19, 2005 11:04 PM |
kel and i once again fooled others about our sibling-ship. how identical are we actually? we were so described as duplicates. okay yeah, people say zijing and i look alike but at least we're both girls... the fact that we really do some stuff in a similar manner and talk in quite the same accent, people may have the illusion of us being identical. but kel is a guy. so they say our eyes are the same, the way we communicate is the same, the way we bring out ourselves is the same and we're like close so on so forth. i find that so amusing i can't stop thinkin' about it. so zhengsheng asked me to meet him and uncle. i went and ended up finding kel, daniel and chiaseng also there. so talked and talked then kel and i walked different way from the rest when going home. so kel and i discussed this issue about us looking alike and he commented i look like chow ah lian. therefore he looks like chow ah lian too. so i told him if him and i look alike... he looks like a girl. he claimed that it's sexy. oh fine... he's hopeless. haha that's why i love him all the same. saw weicheng's ex's elder sister. well nothing much. not like i'll recognise her next time i bump into her anyway. so tomorrow is another cabbage and houhou hang out day. i'm gonna bring cabbage to OG for a budget trip =x nuh she just wanna get some stuff and i happen to know that OG sells it cheap. then i'll have KFC for lunch at far east. hooray! and another sentosa's coming on saturday.. i hope... another hooray! cool yeah? geez i should have broken that mirror years ago lol... ok let's not be happy too early. | |
사랑해요 | |
| ^ w00tx - 2 | 3:13 PM |
hey hey pat and i are fine now ;) lalalalala... -dum di dum di dum- well anyway i promised to blog more last night... so here goes =/ he said he's quite fond of me and asked what i think of him since i haven't known him for long. i said... huh wait. important question must let me think before i answer. but i told him not to worry it's not gonna be bad. geez... then ended up i fell asleep before i saw his sms asking me to call him. so when i woke up just now i smsed him to apologise about that then the smses starts again -.- he asked if today i wanna go over his place... not sherman if anyone of you thought of that... just that his sister is flying off to france so he wanted me to join his family out. then i'm like thinking... that's too fast... so i said i don't wanna go. but seriously i am scared. so blah blah blah the story goes on~ | |
사랑해요 | |
| ^ w00tx | 5:10 AM |
okay i'm getting later and later each day. i just got home =/ creep wasn't bad. it's more like gross... i mean the scenes. the killing part. gruesome ya get the picture? hahax... then took bus to amk and went to kbox with weicheng. then left at 1.56am. walked back to serangoon from there and ended up chatting at the park till 5am then he sent me to my doorstep. that's kinda mad actually... i just feel that way. so at least he's not another sherman... and he paid for everything today... so touched. lol... we spent about $15 in all for the movie and about $37 for the kbox. i feel so bad x.x oh wells... shit i think now i need a lot of brain power for something that's gonna happen... so... yeah i think anything tomorrow i'll blog after i wake up. i'm nervous all over again. this is bad... i mean good... or... wadeva... i feel so............. erm... weird | |
사랑해요 | |
| - creeeep : | Monday, April 18, 2005 5:55 PM |
i very scared. how? HOW? 'cuz.... i'm going to meet weicheng later. tsk... how? i very scared. why ar? scared for what? retarded know... but i very scared =/ how? | |
사랑해요 | |
| 4th " | 3:04 PM |
now's the forth day of my official school holidaess. i'm finally gettin' a break. geez friday came home at 5am, saturday went out at 8am, sunday came home at 4am. goshh... wth! i'm gonna have bad luck for 3 years more to go at least 'cuz i just broke a mirror! =( and i thought my luck's finally gettin' better. oh never mind. i'm used to it anyway. i wonder if pat came back to check up the update for her. hmms she didn't response =/ i don't know what to say -sigh- let's just hope everything's gonna be fine. we'll be fine... i'm almost sure i wanted to post something more in depth than this entry. but then i can't seem to recall what it is... thanks to my CMI memory. so i'll just carry on with some random rants hoping later on it'll hop back into my brain, yah. so... i've been thinking. i mean... he's subconciously going on the path i led him on. so it's like good news. but now that he's coming so fast... i really don't know what to do. i'm not even sure of what i feel but he's almost there. this time i'm not lost. perhaps more like nervous or anxious... then the heartbeat quickens. you start having cold sweats. you pace around aimlessly... yeah somethin' like that. but i can see he's on the path i wanted him to go alright. no doubt about that... what am i gonna do? | |
사랑해요 | |
| || sundayy! | 5:13 AM |
today i slept till 3pm or so. hahaha over exhuastion =x well anyway got up and went to meet mok! with kel and sokfeng of cuz. after that kel and i went to meet chiaseng(ah puix aka gerger. LMAO) at yellow chair. then weicheng came after a while. daniel came after several whiles. and daniel asked zhengsheng to come down when he reached. mingfu didn't go. ok so they ate dinner and we chatted basically. after that soccer match started and it was mad at the coffee shop. so chiaseng suggested we go walk at pasar malam. actually we just wanted to kill time because it was already 10.30pm. what else is there at pasar malam??? so after we browsed what's left of everything, i brought weicheng and chiaseng to the bus stop 'cuz apparently they didn't really know how lol~ then weicheng didn't feel like going home so he decided to walk home after chiaseng's bus came. he walked me home first but we ended up chatting at the void deck. i think from 11+pm to around 4+am. oh wells.. that explains why i'm blogging only at this time yah... zzz | |
사랑해요 | |
| ; sentosaa | Saturday, April 16, 2005 7:35 PM |
back from sentosa with a minor case of sunburn. not as usual 'cuz the usual is major >.< apparently zijing was the one who wanted to get burnt and i didnt want to. but she didn't and i did =( while she was the one without sunblock trying to get cooked so she kept staying on shore and trying all means to have the sun shining on her and i'm just the one who kept thinking i havent put on sufficient sunblock, she's the one who came back unsatisfied with the little tan and i'm the one who came back feeling awful from the burn. now i know why people always need someone else to apply lotion for them =/ i'm glad my face is fine! met desmond there 'cuz he was helping out the our school's amazing race held today at sentosa also. but nah didn't see anyone else. came back to serangoon and it was raining cats and dogs. how very different from sentosa. so i chilled at zijing's house till the rain stopped. met edwin and gang at the mrt station... nothin' much either... okay i'm sleepy because i havent slept a wink last night. yawns | |
사랑해요 | |
| _pa3cia_ | 5:45 AM |
Claypuppet: you've always been observing... you've always been listening... so tell me you do know how bad i am at approaching people regarding problems between myself and the other party involved. do you remember how we had to cancel that lunch silently? i never got over it. had it been someone else... i'd have kicked up a big fuss... but because it was you... i decided to shake it off thinkin' you were plain exhuasted. and the next day i asked you out again and you just coldly replied 'not free'... you've known me for 5 years or so. it's impossible that you can't anticipate my sensitivity towards that kind of situation. i'm so hurt. i don't even know what's wrong... i thought you just needed time to cool off but i didn't know how long that's gonna take. you said you don't know what's same and what's not. i'll tell you you're not the same. you're not just my aquaintance. you're my friend. you're my very good friend. you don't know anything... how about other people around me? do they even know as much as you do about me? i don't exactly love to associate my problems with people who don't have anything to do with them. i'm not out to turn people off with my rants. i don't wanna be a pain in the ass. i've just been cropped up with stuff and stuff and i just completed my last exam paper on thursday. you can ask my classmates. i didn't even hang around after the paper to wait for anyone. that was pretty much my life until like two days ago if you really wanna know. i havent been working for a month already because of exams as well as some miscommunication. my friends... yeah i'm having a major problem with a friend right now because she feels that she's not in my heart. have you been feeling like it's always about me me me and just me? is that what's makin' you so upset now? the only time i get to update myself on your life is when we meet up. but you deprived me of that opportunity a while ago. you weren't a sidekick but i don't know how to make it clear to you right now. there's only one person who shop till she drops wid me. there's only one person who knows just how to deal with me. there's only one person who helps me make my decisions. there's only one person i have to hug every single time i meet. there's only one person i know who can always tell me things i wanna hear. there may be times when our opinions differ... but it never got in the way... so i don't see what's so making us drift... if you've been listening.. if you've been observing.. you'll totally know that i'm quite drained. i'm tired just as well. will you ever hold my hand and drag me from malls to malls when i tell you i need to get this or that again? will you ever drone on about how you love your sushi tei's kajiki toro wadeva your place named it as again? will you ever forget how we get crazy from all the 'guess wads'? if now i tell you i love you, will you still believe me like you always did? i'm not as good wid words as you are. that's about all i have to say. we told ourselves we know we'll walk through till the end. i'm still thinking that way. now what about you? | |
사랑해요 | |
| bdayy boii ` | 5:33 AM |
just reached home from going out to celebrate kel's bday. check out the time =/ went to zhss for the gb buffet and ate some disgusting food. then went to zijing house and waited for her to get ready. met goon and he drove us to marina. zhengsheng and uncle were late. so we waited for all the rest who were waiting for the two of them. then this kel asked his CO friends along out of which two they've never met. those two turned out to be some ex-schoolmate of mine. what a small world after all. we had steamboat obviously... zhengsheng left early... so did zijing n goon. then the rest of us left at roughly 11pm. then went to athars but didn't meet mok today. instead ah neh joined us. so we chatted at athars till about 5am. which is why i'm only home now... aight... sunday we'll be going to derren's house again... after such a long time ;) cool... meanwhile... i'll probably be waiting for zijing to wake up. i'm supposed to get up at 8am for our long awaited sentosa trip... oh wellss... gb was bad. talked about all the past events... the usual. just shitty emo stuffs... kel bday thingy wasn't bad. i love my brudda... yeah... actually i believe he doesnt hang around this site so i'm ok opening up here lol... im glad kel and zijing finally stopped the pissing each other off stuff. haha... geez i feel numb all over for sitting down the entire time i'm having trouble typing. my limbs spoil =( and that thing... maybe a little... but... no i'm not letting it happen... please. | |
사랑해요 | |
| >> weep | Friday, April 15, 2005 2:11 AM |
this is crap. i think i might pass out any moment because i can't breathe. because i'm crying so badly... over wad? over thinkin' about how hard i've worked to earn what i deserve all the years. do i sound childish? i feel so awful... i sound like a kid who didn't get the toy he wanted. i'm not bawling over guys... i'm not whining about school... but now i'm bothered about gb. after finally letting go, i'm sitting here in front of my computer at 2.17am... uncontrollably sobbing over all the little bad things in gb like how i didn't get the badges that i'm supposed to get. or eagles award. or school colours. do i sound pathetic or what? i don't even know what i'm thinking now. why can't i stop crying? what is that fucked up CCA worth? what does it mean to me? what am i still holding on to? | |
사랑해요 | |
| ) kel ( | Thursday, April 14, 2005 7:01 PM |
i went to meet kel just now for a short while. lol we saw uncle in his pyjamas suit going for takwando(is that how you spell it?) class. ok finally exams are over. Finally. tomorrow i'll have to go to zhonghua for deh buffet thingy. will anyone be surprised to hear that i'm actually quite looking forward to it? i don't know... it's just a feeling... tomorrow is a leisure thingy ya know... so we'll be chatting away. but we'll not be able to avoid the topic on staying or leaving 'cuz that's the point of our getting together. that will in turn branch out to more emo and more sensitve stuff. you get what i mean =/ and another thing. tomorrow's my beloved brudda's seventeen birthday. and finally we're meeting mok tomorrow night!!! lol what do you think we'll do? with mok around... i reckon we'll be eating and eating and eating ROFL... that's so mok style hahaha. aww he's going NS soon. i hate this rule about guys having to serve NS. it's so crap ~.~ and wad else? ahh... yah! i'm excited about sentosa. and kel don't you laugh. it's not that i've never been there. you know we've been there so many times and everytime i'm just as excited. lol... i just kinda like getting out for some air without sun. that's why we go in the evening all the time. sentosaaaaaaaa.............. =D~ | |
사랑해요 | |
| ~ hehehe | 2:35 PM |
i made the creative fella's life difficult. he came but no one was home so later he hafta come again. oh wells... it's not my fault. 'cuz you see....................... this morning on my way to school, i saw sok feng on the bus. ok that's not the problem... in school outside club rooms, i saw dennis's name on the dragon boat's noticeboard. then when i turned around. i saw dennis... i mean the real person. that's not the problem too. the problem was actually after the paper when i was going home, i saw alan and i chatted wid him and blah blah blah. then talked about thomas a 'lil... haha he actually swim in school. is it really cleaner? =/ nvm i don't really care. then on my way out, i saw ken. hi bye smile smile don't know wth. lol... and then after that i saw jun nan. i think he was going to meet eileen. wowowowowow... the creative man is FAST!!! like Fed-Ex. lol... my stuff's already here =PpPp cool i'm soooo thrilled -excited- gee let me check out my darling hehehe bbl~ | |
사랑해요 | |
| : thomas : | Wednesday, April 13, 2005 10:02 PM |
i'm sorry. you left september last year. and i only knew today. i still can remember how you always tried to make me feel involved. how you chat me up and break the ice. i remember you ever called up my place though i don't think it was for anything in particular. you're always so ready that's what i see. take it like they always say then... you've been taken back into the house of the Lord. it's not supposed to be a bad thing.. so i just hope you're happy wherever you are. i'll miss you very much... my Creative MuVo Micro N200 darling on its way. i'll get it tomorrow... it'll come right to my doorstep. is that cool or what? a kind of gift of encouragement for surviving through all my papers... just to make myself feel a lil bit better. | |
사랑해요 | |
| java // - | 10:24 AM |
okay so i'm back from java paper. it was at least a million times better than mmc. i swear... tomorrow i will have the last paper which i am not going to study for because i am freaking tired right now. i'm all ready to go back to bed in my pjs now. i hate to get up before 11am. i'm glad it's maths tomorrow. let's just hope the miracle happens because i'm not gamed to retain. i got to sleep. serious... | |
사랑해요 | |
| *dream__.x. | Tuesday, April 12, 2005 7:15 PM |
oh yah about that dream part... i dreamt about hil too. something about friendster profile. isn't it odd? i think it's totally weird. | |
사랑해요 | |
| mmc // - | 6:19 PM |
so i just came home from mmc paper. i think if i get 5 marks i'll be very surprised already. but the odd thing is... i don't really care. tomorrow's java paper is 8.30 in the morning. how dreadful... ok let's just say i want out. i don't see anything good about you inside out. maybe yes you're nice to me. but so what? everything you do gets on my nerves. everything you say doesn't appeal to my senses. it's so plain and simple i don't see why you can't stop being a pain. i had a dream last night. actually this morning. i only recall vaguely what happened. it just suddenly popped into my mind that i had this dream. it's just something about my period and swimming... and then there's a couple of toilet scenes. i think 2 or 3 toilets in all. and the cubicles are not very clean, literally. and the toilets were very eerie. then there were lockers around the place. but we don't have to lock the lockers. i remember i went with a lot of people. we took more than four lockers. but the problem is i don't have any impression of anyone other than this girl who stayed with me all the time. she was persuading me to swim despite my time of the month and she accompanied me while i change and bathe and go to the locker... basically all the time. but i don't remember who she is. why is that so? why...... | |
사랑해요 | |
| workk ? ` | 3:06 AM |
just now nevil sms me saying he miss my sickening face.. lol... i was thinking about him today too. actually i think it's been like about a month we havent met up. but it sure seems like a long time. it's quite amazing how relationship between people form. how the feelings develope. how sushi ondo brought us all together to become friends that can't bear to part. but still i don't feel the urge to go back to genki now. i just want to drop by when i'm really free. i just want to get out of there. i hate to admit right now all i think about is the money. i'm still at the crossroad... so where should i go now? | |
사랑해요 | |
| ^ examx. > | Monday, April 11, 2005 11:53 PM |
basically nothing. i went out with zijing just now. to buy her school shoe and buy some rubbish. seriously tomorrow is multimedia computer paper. and i'm like not studying. how nice. i'm sure to die. if i don't... it's a miracle. let's see if miracles happen. let's just wait and see... we'll see... | |
사랑해요 | |
| \ no.... / | 2:03 AM |
jayjay just brought up some pretty sad past regarding yeye. i know it's over but still... ya know... jayjay will know what it feels like. well thanks for the sudden change of topic to china. lol some people really work wonders with their crazeh ideas. it's sad that our kbox thingy cannot happen. and when i finally get my break you have to go to school again. now that's the end of the longest holiday of your life till the end. let's hope some day before we die we meet again. i don't wanna see you just once in ten years really. and that bbq... i really hope......... so wad about yeye? see jayjay's so right about me. that's what you get for spending your childhood together. it's like so confusing. a little bit of this and a little bit of that. the sour-sweet sticky feelin' somewhere in one of your organs. moving a lil bit here and a lil bit there. you just can't quite seem to catch it but you know it's somewhere there... it's not necessarrily a bad thing. but right now it ain't anywhere near good. i don't like how i have to talk to you people online. get real... i wanna see you, touch you, feel you... i don't like this seemingly cyber kinda relationship. i feel too far away. i don't like it... i believe jayjay u remember how we used to play together back then more vividly than i do. i remember how upset you said you were. i always will... | |
사랑해요 | |
| * just now = | Sunday, April 10, 2005 10:24 PM |
met zijing just now. then chatted with her at deh void deck for a while. saw reagan, demster, derren, vivek & belle on deh way home. chatted with them for another while. they just came back from sentosa... how cool is that? hehehe i wanna take lotsa pix at sentosa with zijinggg >.< i wanna go to palawan beach. i wanna cross deh bridge to the other side. i wanna swim over to the platform. but i don't want the sun =/ am i asking for too much here? i just wish zijing won't have any lessons... please please please please please!? i'm dying to go to sentosa... to take a break from stuff and stuff... just give me one day to run away okay? | |
사랑해요 | |
| ？过去还是现在？ | Saturday, April 09, 2005 9:15 PM |
曾经的一个他。我到过了他的快乐，我看过了他的世界，我爱上了他的天空。单纯的付出在不知不觉中，给我换来了不少血与泪，却似乎对他不据任何意义。难道我真的错了？我尽过力去控制自己，我尽过力不再去在乎他。最后我失败了，最后他也离开了。不知道该怎么办，曾经那个我，没有了他，我不要我自己。一切的一切，都只因为他。 爱我的资格 把手放了 我也许会比较快乐 我也许会换个情人 我也许不会再撑 真的够了 能不能让雨别再下了 能不能让心别再痛了 能不能不要开灯 我们的爱跟着你写的剧本 出现了越来越多的角色 我是你什么人 如果不是情人 是不是不要再浪费我的人生 你比我更清楚 你对我多好 多温柔 多认真 不构成爱我的资格 除非你只看着我 想着我 只有我 爱本来就该独一无二 为你伤心多一点 少一点 流下的眼泪都一样不值得 世界上那么多人 只有我一个人 能拯救自己的快乐 要再为你哭了 | |
사랑해요 | |
| ( saturdaee ]] | 4:32 PM |
i don't really feel like studying. when holidays get too long. i get too distracted. i got too used to the pain such that when there's no particular hurt like now... i feel so lost. i feel like i don't have a reason but i'm still sad. isn't that worse? i don't know what else to blog. it is a boring day. Tension - 我們的故事 在你左右 還有多久 怎麼樣才能讓時間倒流 每一分每一秒都珍重 握緊的手 不願放鬆 十點半的飛機它在等候 不要再讓自己的眼淚流 我必需要走 要記得 我們的故事真難忘 太多的回憶和希望 不管它有多瘋狂 我願意一生收藏 我們的故事不能忘 太多的情節要發展 不要放棄 因為有一天緣份會繼續 我知道你寂寞 一個人確實好難過 思念是一種痛 沒有你叫我怎麼活 身邊充滿誘惑 不堅定就容易犯錯 你是否能看見未來的收穫 你願意在耐心等候 我們的故事真難忘 太多的回憶和希望 不管它有多瘋狂 我願意一生收藏 我們的故事不能忘 太多的情節要發展 不要放棄 因為有一天緣份會繼續 讓我們一起演完 | |
사랑해요 | |
| || athars | 4:15 AM |
actually i didn't sneak out because there was a change of time. i just lied about it because my sister wasn't asleep yet. i just got back from athars. had a go in walkin' in da rain. it's been a long time since i last did that... the feeling is just fantastic. i wish the time was like earlier or something so i could have stayed longer in the rain. but oh wells... ok so today i got to know wu tian, ah bui & mingfu. most of the time was just about the gaming and stuff but i pretty much got it from regularly receiving input information lol... they're funny too... the stupid ah nehx forgot about my mutton soup and won't give a damn about me until i called for handsome... then the next time when ah bui and wu tian ordered the mutton soup they forgot about it too... until i called for handsome. wth -_- haha not too bad... they're a bunch of funny people... tomorrow.. i mean later... in about 2 hours time... they'll be i think at ZHSS... all ready to set off for resilence trail. good luck to my beloved sisters... =D candice & zijing will win! Win! WIN! huiling and my plot didn't come in handy today. they didn't even bother to ask about why we were there. okay tomorrow is study day i suppose... it's like exams are so so near. and i'm like getting more and more slack. seriously i have no choice but to go back to genki for the money. then i'll see what i can do again later on? i feel so miserable all over again. money is such a pain in the arse. and i'm still missin' something... the Creative MuVo Micro N200 256MB that's pretty in pink =( | |
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| || sakae | Friday, April 08, 2005 11:39 PM |
ok truth... i was sad dylan couldn't make it. but seriously i have no idea why. not as though i'd have anything in particular to talk about with him. actually... lots more that i can't bring up here. it's like... i don't know what to say... i just felt like being alone. i need someone to make me laugh. i need to take my mind off things. just all of a sudden i feel so drained of energy. i cannot seem to concentrate on anything. how would it have been possible for me to drift off from a conversation that involves people who mean alot to me? right now it's happenin' to me. i'm not so well... i'm home because my sister made me. perhaps i'll just sneak out later. hope she'll sleep with my parents tonight. i just don't want to be home. it's driving me crazy at the moment. so before i came home. i went to the park to walk around. sit awhile... and it reminds me of how dennis used to go there with me and what we used to talk about. those were the days... the unhappy one though. i much regretted going there just now. well i went to gb today with huiling... and no comments. i felt no difference. it's like i'm still at drill. i'm still screaming those "watch your bangs".. "look at your arm swings".. "what happened to your dressing".. "where's your ninety degrees".. "i hear dragging".. "i can't hear you".. "i want to see your jerks!".. yeah basically that's about it. huiling can't imagine what it'll be like after we leave... neither can i. oh yah did you see mdm jemaine's hair? omg it was like gold in colour? mine is i think even better than hers already. i guess this is her first time at GB in like 4 or 5 months? i can't quite catch how 48th works. i'm getting sick of everything. everything within my sight only seem to hurt more and more. i don't wanna reach out because it only cost me pain. i only know at this point in time... i believe the bond created in gb between my fellow gb mates and i... seem to be the most precious thing to me. we had joy together. we've cried together. we've spent more or less 4 years together with a common goal, common mind. we were created differently... but we fit right. we were never the best of friends.. with the exception of zijing and perhaps candice... but we know and we recognise a bond between us... that makes us special to one another... and this may never happen again in48th because times have changed. | |
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| leave me alone | 12:02 AM |
cry? 3cia... you're so weak. | |
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| ''' cabbagy ''' | Thursday, April 07, 2005 10:41 PM |
ok so i'm home. went out with cabbage patch asshole. freak club president couldn't make it 'cuz she had lessons till 5pm. cabbage + houhou went "awwww... so sad" hahaha ;p i spent alot alot of money today on things that i've always wanted. but i didn't manage to get what i was out to get at the end of the day -_-" watched Miss Congeniality 2 thanks to cabbage for the free tix. lol... oh yah i saw tiffny today! alright... so i got my hair cut too. it wasn't easy tellin' the hair dresser what to cut 'cuz i don't really know what i want so i pretty much just crap it all. so i got crap back lol. but it's ok... i'm ok with it still.. at least i don't have to style it all like the previous hair. it was so freaking troublesome. bumped into reagan, derren, ah dai & belle at plaza singapura. so i went home with them too. then went to meet didi at mac for a 'lil while then went home. i wanna go to athars with him tomorrow in da middle of the night. now's time for me to think of what to tell my mum. i'm gonna bump into huiling by chance on the bus tomorrow while i'm on the way home from school. she's gonna tell me that she's going to zhss to pass choohua something and ask me to accompany her. so we'll turn up at gb together at roughly 3 in the afternoon. and we'll either stay or make our leave because we both have to get back to school. feelin' wowed? i can foresee the future... what lies beyond the eyes can see. i'm witchy. lol... or issit bitchy? i'm not sure about the sushi thing tomorrow evening either. they havent confirmed it anyway... like as usual.. yeah... so i don't see why i should spare much thought to something that may not be happenin' at all... it's like past experiences told me not to behave retardly. thinkin' too much is not bringing me anywhere near good. since there are things i can't help thinking... why not quit thinking about things that i can put aside? it's not as if my presence is much hoped for or looked forward to. it's not as if my absence will matter. i took 1 year to know that they hate me. i took 2 years to learn that they're now mine. i took another 1 year to realise that seriously fate is not on our side. maybe 2 more years i'll see holding on is totally useless. stop forcing people to like you as who you are. stop forcing yourself to change to someone so that people will like who you are trying to be. because 3cia... it makes it seem as though u're such a loser. because 3cia... it makes you look pathetic like as though u're grabbing some ankle being dragged along while screaming in disdain... and 3cia you have been assured, double assured, triple assured and you believe that you do deserve better. so why is this love holding you back? why should you take such unreturned love so seriously.. so hardly? is it bcos of the time you've spent on it that's why you don't wanna give up? apparently not. is it a habit you can't seem to quit? to be pursueing and failing repeatedly? maybe. is it the familiarity of the feeling of rejection that makes you know that you're still alive? oh why am i dwelling on this tonight? i'm such a pain in the ass. | |
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| `~ juz bloggin' | 12:26 AM |
don't you give me that attitude 'cux you don't even have the right to. you're not comin' any nearer with those shit and sour look. get out of my sight. i'll be meetin' dear cabbage for our beloved NYDC again. after not seeing her for like... almost a year. wow... it's been so long... too bad meishan can't make it tmr =( and i forgot to ask regi. SPARE ME, REGI! i didn't mean it. seriously cabbage just want her present. LOL i know it. i just know it...! i hope to get my hair cut tmr. might wanna meet zijing later at night. but oh wells... will see to it tomorrow when i'm with yinsan. who in the world can imagine i'm the one left with one of the the most connections with secondary school life. haha... had a short lame phone chat with zijing just now. wth... she's mad about the hair styling.. it's so gross... i'll be the last customer if she ever opens a salon. i swear... hahaha | |
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| - studyy` | Wednesday, April 06, 2005 2:28 AM |
at the rate i'm going... i'm never gonna make it through year 1... i need to study badly... i need to go through this. i cannot live with the idea of retaining... i want to make it through | |
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| * pay dae * | 1:45 AM |
okay so i went down to get my pay today. but actually was because pingting ask me to go down. supposed to meet her to cut hair but i really seriously don't know what hairstyle to get. but know i finally got a slight idea of what i want. maybe just a little more work and inspiration will do ;) as expected, ailing asked me when i can get back to work. it was 'cuz pingting forgot about updating her on my change of number. but it's ok... i had a pretty nice break. unexpectly, the pay was more than twice of what i thought it would be. so in my bank account just for salary i have approximately $700... while in my pocket cash in hand is only about $10... =\ i don't like to carry cash around no idea why... ok i did closing with pingting just now. i think i'm rather rusty now... i can't really remember the procedures anymore... or maybe it's just my wanting to protect my feli-manicured nails. i believe during the holidays i will go back to genki for work no matter how much i don't want to. seriously, the bus ride there made me very sick today. i don't know how to bear with it... maybe an mp3 will help... where's my dream mp3? i'm dying. | |
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| * || uhh | Tuesday, April 05, 2005 1:32 PM |
i prolly scared her. i must have. i'm sorry... i didn't mean to do things like that. it's like kinda out of my control... i know you love me as much as i love you. i don't tell you... but i never wanna lose someone like you. you listen to my screams and rants all the time. thanks for being there = now i just realised.. the other time i asked pingting to tell ailing i changed number... she forgot about it. so genki didn't ask me to work because they didn't have my new number and they thought i'm having exams now. i heard there's this new friendly and cheerful china girl there whom they like very much. heard that she's smart and she's a fast learner. so... i guess they don't really need me back anyway. but now i'm wondering what to do if they really ask me back to work. i don't really know what i want... but seriously the location sux... it's too out of the way for me. workin' ain't that bad but travelling is out of the question =( | |
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| lols:- | Monday, April 04, 2005 11:42 PM |
well today i went out with felicia. to... erm... study. yah... trust me... i didn't =x okay so around 7pm i went over to her place to slack. and she did manicure and pedicure for me. as in she literally filed and buffed my nails. PLUS she trimmed my nails as well. and she thinks she lost one kilogram doing all that. lol~ we just pretty much laughed away the time. it was good. ya know... to relax when i'm actually not quite up. yesterday's slashes hurt still. but..... i have yet felt guilt. | |
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| sorry | 1:51 AM |
i'm sorry i picked up those hurtin'-muhself bad habits i had in the past but i'm not quite happy lately. my date with books tomorrow. about the best thing that can happen to my life i suppose. i'm such a loser. stop crying... | |
사랑해요 | |
| you.s | Sunday, April 03, 2005 4:23 PM |
you: it's not workin'... and it won't work... i feel that you're trying... but you don't have to. quit wastin' time... 'cuz it's makin' me sick. it's not gonna happen. you made a mistake... don't repeat it again. you: don't hate me for not doing anything wrong. year after year you've been messin' up my life. maybe you should stop it now. grow up now... maybe you should tell me to get out of your life. then i'll try my best to forget about you... and how hard i tried to keep you in my life. you'll never understand. have i been wrong all along? am i right to call you childish now? you think i'm a spare in your life, don't you? you think you'd have lived better without me... you've been plainly makin' use of me. you think i'm a bytch. you: too far away. but so near all the same. will you come back like how we were like?... or hopefully more...... | |
사랑해요 | |
| :simlim ! | 12:41 PM |
like i said.. i went to simlim.. but the retarded shops there either ran out of stock totally or don't have pink stock. it sucks. maybe it's not fated to be mine or something =( i'm pretty sad... well anyway i intend to go collect mah close to nothing pay tomorrow... preferrably with zinc... and she got appointment i heard... so i can't hang out with her... then maybe i can go study for deh multimedia computer exam as well as java exam. well maths can wait... but what if in the end i fail maths too? urgh~ things ain't going well... i should just come out and werk totally... | |
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| raynn -`` | Saturday, April 02, 2005 9:04 PM |
ryte... so i was supposed to go to wild wild wet with zijing this mornin' but i woke up at 8am to find the weather totally unfit for our activity. wth~ so yeah that's it... our plan shattered. so we thought maybe we could sleep awhile more and then get out for some air late mornin' or early noon. but she called me while i was washing up and i missed her call. i missed her back and she didn't call back. she msn me but i was already outside. it just wasn't fated for us to meet up todae. and todae i'm fated to meet zinc. cos i saw her at simlim and at bugis. how cool is that? thing is... i actually went to meet regi 'cuz right after i roll out of bed i saw her msn and she said she smsed me but i changed number and she didn't know. so she actually asked me out. and we went to simlim and bugis and had long john silver for lunch and dinner together ;) i still don't like long john though. it kinda don't suit my taste bud =x bumped into how yong and eugene pang at edge. w00t... they looked surprised... i mentioned about how yong's appearance on teenage and eugene pointed out to him that the entire world knows lol~! i bough another pants at e-base again todae... i'm happy but it hurts my pocket... or rather my bank account. still thinkin' if i wanna go collect pay with zinc on mondae... morning is out of the question. but i really wanna go with somebody. united square is so out of the way. i hope they don't ask me back to work again. i mean... yeah i want a job. but not in genki.. and especially united square... i need a way of earning money that ain't tiring and stressful. am i asking for too much?? | |
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