| i'd give up forever to touch you | Wednesday, February 28, 2007 11:00 PM |
exactly 2 weeks. yet, feels like it's been forever. i can't get closer, but i can't move away. little big boy, can you feel the heartbeat? first of all let's get this clear. it's been a long time, now move on `cuz i'm not your dear ; your girl. not anymore. i don't need more apologies. you don't owe me any. truth be told, you're way off track of my life, and your life i so don't revolve around. never angry. but unforgiveness, perhaps. let bygones be bygones. he taught me this that i never thought i'll ever use... but here goes - i forgive you. now, you may go. | |
사랑해요 | |
| out with felicia | 3:20 AM |
 a day out with felicia! (: it was great.
| |
사랑해요 | |
| the day zoo got cancelled ): | Tuesday, February 27, 2007 4:23 AM |
Somewhere there's someone who dreams of your smile, and finds in your presence that life is worth while. So when you are lonely, remember it's true. Somebody somewhere is thinking of you. - K. Blackburn - and i'd give up forever to touch you... | |
사랑해요 | |
| doubtful. | Monday, February 26, 2007 4:32 AM |
drill competition is just around the corner. girls who are reading this... WORK HARD ; ALL THE BEST !!! Late at night when all the world is sleeping I stay up and think of you And I wish on a star That somewhere you are thinking of me too Cause I'm dreaming of you tonight Til tomorrow I'll be holding you tight And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be Than here in my room dreaming about you and me Wonder if you ever see me and I wonder if you know I'm there If you looked in my eyes Would you see what's inside Would you even care I just wanna hold you close but so far All I have are dreams of you So I wait for the day And the courage to say How much I love you (yes I do) and if only the bridge is true. That you came up to me and said i love you I love you too Now I'm dreaming with you tonight Til tomorrow and for all my life And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be Than here in my room Dreaming with you endlessly | |
사랑해요 | |
| tired | 12:24 AM |
random ramblings. another day, maybe. | |
사랑해요 | |
| diva! | Friday, February 23, 2007 12:20 AM |
 new earrings! the girl behind gave it to me (: thanks seetho!there was this sicko who stalked me on my way home. eww. disappointment's stirring inside. i feel awful. i know, i have no more time. i can't pretend it doesn't hurt. | |
사랑해요 | |
| YES! | Thursday, February 22, 2007 1:44 AM |
hours after hours of mental struggle. i failed. but at least | |
사랑해요 | |
| welcome home | Wednesday, February 21, 2007 1:13 PM |
if because i found faith that God says your job now is complete... can i let it go so then you would come again? i'd hate to make the move, to let you know my darkest truth. but i keep waiting and waiting, and i know it's all too much for nothing. i don't want a piece of memory. i don't want to hide my disappointments. but where do i find the chances to create a future? and how can i reach you in the corner of the world? it doesn't even mean anything to you. oh, why should i cry? | |
사랑해요 | |
| home again. | Tuesday, February 20, 2007 12:15 AM |
it was awful to leave this place... yet, just as dreadful to return here again. yes, indeed i'm back. i felt like i brought one entire luggage full of woes with me to faraway land. when i came back, i felt like i brought back two. the short wait at the taxi stand, my heart sank so much i almost forgot how to breathe. the endless hours i sat around staring into space... thinking and thinking about one little big thing... dearest couzies, NO! my soul didn't drift to KL. believe me. six hours apart. and then there i was right where you are. | |
사랑해요 | |
| new year | Saturday, February 17, 2007 10:09 PM |
will be gone for a few days. i guess, it's a break for now from everything else. so down with a pretty high fever... and yeap, i still have to go to malaysia. how's everything over there? i remember, you're not very well either. i can't wait to be back. i can't wait for you to come back. i can't wait for you to do what you told me you will do. will that one day ever come? or did you say it, just for saying it. tell me, you're not just another one of them. i want to wake up to mornings, finding someone i love so dearly, laying just beside me. i want to have somebody i love, to prepare a table of splendid dishes, every evening of yet another day in God's time. i want a reason, to climb out of bed early every morning, to have somebody to make breakfast for. who then, will come forth and make these beautiful dreams come true? | |
사랑해요 | |
| new year | 3:07 AM |
it's been like a year... why won't you just get over it & look over here? oh, never mind. why would you even care? i'll like check with God... how long is it gonna last this time. so totally exhausted. You, have fun there. You, take care. cya around in another couple of days. meanwhile, it's time for some soul searching... because i don't know if this is me. sometimes if you stop and take a look around... you'll realise somebody is always there... | |
사랑해요 | |
| the little things | Friday, February 16, 2007 11:23 AM |
it's still so nice to know the little things... where you are, what you're doing, how you're feeling, like as though the one last day hasn't arrived at all. the possibility lingers that i may never see you again for days, weeks & months. but i'm leaving out years because i know i'll never let that happen. all the people i've poured my heart to, y'all know best, i'd do anything... just anything... to be there. but the fear inside keeps growing and growing... sometimes i feel so lost; so totally hate myself for what happened. and i know, you probably will never find out about everything i've said. `cuz nothing about it really matters to you, am i wrong? so, prove it. | |
사랑해요 | |
| Our Valentine's Day | Thursday, February 15, 2007 2:22 PM |
i'm finally free! from school (for good) ; from work (for now). and the first thing i did after final paper? PARTEH! see below for more details: the start!  DARYL nadhar joey feliciaand not forgetting seetho, jeremy, jamie & dillon. and hi to ben and elke or something like that (: here's what we did (:  BBQ BBQ and more BBQ!!!some randoms throughout the totally awesome night...  aw, just take a look at apu i seriously don't know what dar's left hand was grabbing. DARYL MAKE FOR ME ONE LEH! haha, kidding. can you do this? by the way, that's jeremon in case you're wondering. the shots that killed me. the last picture i caught before i died for the night. daryl "playing" my husband. okay, sounds wrong.yes, we stayed through the night and... ya we stayed through the night. it was fun, no doubt. but will this ever ever ever happen again? next time, maybe without my shots? time ran out on me. is this really the end? the journey back, i wish... really was a dream. that when i wake up from it. we're back to where it all began. is it about courage this time, too? or is it because i know there's this one special girl? never mind, just thanks for everything so far. God has a plan... maybe now, it's this walk of faith. maybe i'll be okay. maybe. | |
사랑해요 | |
| valentine's day | Wednesday, February 14, 2007 1:27 AM |
i was there again, but this time i'm on my own. all that life has given me this time, barely summed up to one pathetic month. how amazing that each time you're here, everything else doesn't seem to matter anymore. if only tomorrow wouldn't die. if only i can ask... will you be my valentine? but then again maybe, i'm just here to quietly stay by your side. just the way we've always been... the way you know you can count on me. Happy Valentine's Day everyone. even though it's not so happy (: i'll update about the activity that wraps up the poly life that zoomed past me. | |
사랑해요 | |
| exam | Monday, February 12, 2007 10:16 PM |
i know it's quite a wrong time to blog considering i still have 2 more papers to go. but i think i need to de-stress for a moment. hah. so i went to jurong point with seetho and joey. it wasn't a bad day after all... what say you girls? well, i look at them and i feel like screaming.. WHY ISN'T MY EXAM OVER YET? i'm just glad because THE last day isn't here yet. but i know because it's coming and it's gonna be so over. i think that you already know... but then you just don't wanna ask or remark. and maybe we should remain this way. `cuz i got this feeling that everything will turn pretty awkward. after all, you know me best these years. will wednesday stand still? i'm so afraid to face yet another new beginning. where shall i head now? Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 1 Corinthians 13:6-7 | |
사랑해요 | |
| faith | Friday, February 09, 2007 1:45 AM |
have faith, i will one day. just wait. god will make a way. | |
사랑해요 | |
| everything about you | Wednesday, February 07, 2007 10:04 PM |
the eyes. the smile. the laughter. the words. and all the things i've said to you. i didn't even have a month. and all of these seem to be slipping out of my grasp. there's this sinking feeling deep down inside of me. `cuz so many things i need i want you to know. 'tough battles ahead'... is about life without you. i guess, you'll never find out how important this is to me. the very last days just let me hang around to see you smile. if only it's easy to pretend i do not know... the possibility that i am nobody. if only i can stop thinking about it... the tears probably wouldn't come. how long is the pain here to stay? let's hope tomorrow isn't the very last day. God knew very well, this is the only way... i am after all still his little girl... | |
사랑해요 | |
| be happy. | 12:27 AM |
i was fine today. i felt HAPPY, really. (and you noticed the past tense. explanation later~) went to work from school today. what happened at the library was plain retarded, i know. so no, felicia didn't do anything to me. the past just keeps on haunting me. and it makes me afraid that the same thing will happen to me over and over again. i... never mind. nights like this is just shit. kelvyn, reagan, johnny & dai came to tiamo for dinner. how nice (: then kel gave me $1.10 as tips. hahas. here comes the awful part that squeezed me dry of the lil happiness. when i was............... never mind. if i don't note it down... it's prolly easier to let it go. i seriously don't need one more thing to dwell on. even if i feel like screaming in your face. even if i wish you could get out of my sight. my head freaking hurts. Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Galatians 6:9 | |
사랑해요 | |
| can cafe | Tuesday, February 06, 2007 1:12 AM |
happening day with some hidden details, unfortunately. i finally went to can cafe with joey!!! and seetho, hei, ben, alke and wad's that girl's name? oh wells. my pink wad's-that-drink-called is nice. if you happen to read this post... don't be sad okays? cheer up! (: Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. Proverbs 3:3 the last bit of time i'm left with. can i tell you... please don't leave? | |
사랑해요 | |
| new phone (: | Monday, February 05, 2007 1:11 AM |
here's my 2007's new year resolution... well, better late than never ;) i'm gonna stop smoking! of course, i've always needed a reason strong enough. i have (: i randomly flipped my beloved GB bible the way i would on sleepless nights. Mark 12:33 .. He knew something.. i...... never mind~ | |
사랑해요 | |
| beautiful | Sunday, February 04, 2007 2:43 AM |
this morning(actually afternoon), i woke up feeling like i'm not the same anymore. i tried to be who i've been all these while... but it seems i'm still different in some ways. i recalled mdm jasmine checking up on me when i just started attending poly... i don't remember what i told her exactly... but i'm very sure i said something like i'm not the same as other people. i didn't feel like an outcast, neither was i lonely. just... different. and i told her how GB has changed my life, moulded me into who i am today. and it did... i was welcomed by a beautiful incident at work today. a little boy not older than ten was playing an online game at table fourteen with his friend. as usual... the primary one kid whose parents work at the chix rice stall upstairs came. he borrowed the boy's PSP and the boy agreed with no signs of hesitation. i don't know what he did exactly but the PSP jammed up later on. little boy told him it's okay... just show it to his mum and say it's not your fault... they were complete strangers. after some time, the kid decided to meddle with the PSP again. his friend stood aside and tried convincing him not to but he just wouldn't listen... the little boy actually told the kid's friend not to worry... and said that it's okay he can use it for as long as he wants. don't you just wish we never grew up? if there's a goal in my life... this is it. i wanna be just like the boy... you're god's angel sent from above. saving me each and everyday. one day... just one day... i'll let you know... how my life has changed. how this love i will never forget. thank you. | |
사랑해요 | |
| one is the loneliest number | Saturday, February 03, 2007 1:40 AM |
have you ever come face-to-face with the vacuum of love that exists within your soul? have you ever had an unexplainable sense of loneliness even while you're standing in the middle of a crowd? have you ever wondered whether you are the one person who simply could not be loved or was somehow born unworthy of love? from the very beginning we were made for love. we are designed to love and be loved. we are created to know love and to give love. love is not a limited commodity. love expands as we give it away. love dies when we do not. without love there is no life. we are born to belong. we are created for connection. and whether we admit it to ourselves or not. we spend our whole lives trying to fit in, get in, stay in. it almost doesn't even matter what "in" is, we just want to belong somewhere. how true is this? go figure. | |
사랑해요 | |
| treasured moments... | Friday, February 02, 2007 11:31 PM |
before their actionscript paper...  yup. they were happily posing away for the camera.later into the study session...  the self-declared hardworking boy.and beside him...  a piece of toast.the next day...  there was a train crash in Toys 'R' Us @ Vivocityi made two amazing discoveries...  dardar is into A380 AirBus and naha is into transformers. HAHA!punishment for oversleeping...  receipt in joey's bread.while on the bus...  naha tried to SEETHO PENG!after a lil soccer, frisbee & swimming...  here's our sexay feets (:and then they thought i wouldn't find out...  if they BERied my volleyball.seetho wanted to catch the musical fountain...  and so we did...but i'm sad...  `cuz dar hurt his little big toe ):nicest picture of the day...  picture joey in it.and all the above was proudly brought to you by...  MediaCorp Raintree Picture. (not)dear friends. it was a fantastic day. i hate to admit. but love you guys loads (: haha FEBRUARY 14th HERE WE COME!!! | |
사랑해요 | |
| help | 10:48 PM |
i had to find a way to talk to him. desperately. but i don't know why. i don't know how. and all the 5 years coming 6... i know the best way is to hit my guitar and strum the chords. then cry away the pain. sometimes... there's only 1 person i can turn to. i need help... save me again. | |
사랑해요 | |
| help. | 1:05 AM |
i'm trying to blog something but i keep dozing off. it's a long yet short day. but for some reasons details have to be kept out of public. he enjoyed himself today. so did i and everyone else too. so many little things i wish i can do for you. so many questions i wish i can ask you. and i'm afraid what she said will come true. the future... what will we be like? sometimes. i really don't know what to think or do. i wonder if they can see how i feel. is it just like before? will the look in my eyes still tell the world everything? now i'm so hating time for ticking away. tomorrow. the last day. | |
사랑해요 | |
