| i'm selfish and only know how to think for myself | Tuesday, February 28, 2006 3:00 PM |
the end is coming ever so soon for me. why is that fear slowly consuming me? the fear of losing my world once again... i wanted to hold his hand. but he didn't want to hold mine back i wanted to cuddle him and tell him everything's gonna be okay. but he didn't want to use my hug and hear my comfort. he don't know that pain is killing me. it hurts more than what his eyes can see. he don't know each and every night. the lights go out and the tears come trickling down endlessly. nobody knows. to him... i am just somebody... uber selfish. i only know how to think for myself. but to all my dearest friends... don't you guys just think that's probably the last personality a girl like me will adopt? and to everyone around me... i may pretend to be strong and sometimes it may show. but just for me.. won't all you guys be my sweethearts and tell me how fine i really seem to be? b`cuz it really isn't easy to be alone. it isn't easy to lose what you love. it isn't easy to hear from someone you love that you simply suck to the core. yet to him... i'm just selfish and i only know how to think for myself. i'm selfish and only know how to think for myself. i'm selfish and only know how to think for myself. i'm selfish and only know how to think for myself. i'm selfish and only know how to think for myself. i'm selfish and only know how to think for myself. | |
사랑해요 | |
| the girl | Sunday, February 26, 2006 11:39 PM |
i'm just a girl... seeking happiness any normal girl would want. i'm just a girl... i so want to stay with you every second of my life. yet everyday i know... i tell myself i have to let you go... i can't say i love you... because you have since stopped telling me you love me too... only in my dreams can i now fantasize the one day you look into my eyes... telling me you need me so... telling me you love me so... why did you stop holding me? why did you stop loving me? will you fall in love with me again? will you do that for me? for the girl who was once your little princess... for the girl who gave you her everything... for the girl who wants to hold you tight and walk with you till the end of time... won't you just look at that girl again? i may not know many things. i may be ignorant at times. but i know... that girl who cries alone night after night is someone who really needs you so. and i know... all she's good at now... is pretending to be strong. yet who understands the fears she still feels first thing everyday she wakes up? who understands ? who understands ? | |
사랑해요 | |
| insane | 1:14 AM |
I HATE THE BURNING PAIN GROWING INSIDE OF ME.. SUFFOCATING ME.. OVERWHELMING ME.. lies after lies. yet yes... here's where i am today. why? i must be seriously insane. | |
사랑해요 | |
| lies after lies... | 1:14 AM |
I HATE THE BURNING PAIN GROWING INSIDE OF ME.. SUFFOCATING ME.. OVERWHELMING ME.. lies after lies. yet yes... here's where i am today. why? i must be seriously insane. | |
사랑해요 | |
| waiting | Saturday, February 25, 2006 2:16 PM |
the pain... i can only keep inside. the tears... i can only let out at night. the love... i can only wish that he will stay.. close beside me all the way. i'm just a fool. waiting... waiting... | |
사랑해요 | |
| new glasses or wad ? | Wednesday, February 22, 2006 11:43 PM |
like what the heck? my glasses just broke. like really just break apart. so fragile. god save me? i need my glasses. but hey good news. finally new glasses =\ i hope | |
사랑해요 | |
| 10th month | Tuesday, February 21, 2006 12:08 PM |
i'm blogging today. b`cuz it's the 21st. today... is supposed to be our 10th month being together. yeah... 10 months... i wish..... if only........ | |
사랑해요 | |
| READ | Sunday, February 19, 2006 2:13 PM |
i refused to wake up as i laid in bed feeling so afraid.. so afraid.. my head was trobbing with pain. my stomach aching so bad.. what's wrong with me once again? so i just kept telling myself... 3cia it's ok.. it's ok... buy yourself more time. 3cia it's ok.. your world even though black and white.. you're still not blind. 3cia you're gonna be okay.. don't interfere with my life.. you know who you are.. this is the way i choose to live my life. this is the path i choose to walk. so please let me be. i know what i want. i know who i love. i know what i deserve. thanks for all the uninvited concerns. but no thanks. | |
사랑해요 | |
| READ THIS | 1:32 AM |
this is my blog.. my life.. this is the only place i can open up.. so stop screwin' me up!!! go away unwanted guests. please. i've cried enough.. i've hurt enough.. just leave me alone. okay? i'm only a girl... JUST FUCKING LEAVE !!! | |
사랑해요 | |
| bad luck | Wednesday, February 15, 2006 11:48 AM |
hey.. i got paper today lor.. and somebody in the next block actually died. ok lor... it's a bad omen... my keyboard spoil last night but recovered now. so sad i thought i could get a new one already =( | |
사랑해요 | |
| i'm his | Tuesday, February 14, 2006 11:48 PM |
everyday is Valentine's Day with you - Quek Wei Cheng | |
사랑해요 | |
| haiz | 11:10 AM |
if i'm really happy like that... are you willing to do this for me forever? go back to the past........... | |
사랑해요 | |
| now | Sunday, February 12, 2006 5:14 PM |
one month. starting from now. for me to let go of things the less painful way. thank you for giving me a chance to escape the pain. i'll never forget this. i will leave before the one month is up. but i hope u can put in your everything for me during this time. i need your help. if only time could stop here. forever. don't be silly 3ciA... there is no such thing as forever | |
사랑해요 | |
| loves me | 6:41 AM |
I'm bloggin at 6.40am . . . haiz he loves me. he loves me. he loves me. he loves me. he loves me. he loves me. he loves me. he loves me. he loves me. he loves me. he loves me not. | |
사랑해요 | |
| if | Saturday, February 11, 2006 2:10 AM |
if we get back together and have to part our ways again. if that happens and i promise i won't be as sad as now. will you come back to me? will you really come back to me? | |
사랑해요 | |
| today... | Friday, February 10, 2006 1:52 PM |
i woke up... and it rained... maybe because i rained... heaven knows. if i could stay like this forever. if only. even if he doesnt love me. can he stay on beside me like this? make him mine. | |
사랑해요 | |
| my him~ | 3:32 AM |
sitting here in the middle of the nite... watching my him sleeping soundly... wishing he's still mine... why can't the tears stop coming down? how can he be so fine without me? why won't he come back to me? | |
사랑해요 | |
| QUIT CRYING | Thursday, February 09, 2006 3:01 PM |
he ditched me. he ditched me. he ditched me. he ditched me. he ditched me. he ditched me. he ditched me. he ditched me. he ditched me. he ditched me. he ditched me. he ditched me. he ditched me. he ditched me. he ditched me. he ditched me. he ditched me. he ditched me. he ditched me. i love him. | |
사랑해요 | |
| birthday | 11:54 AM |
this birthday... i wish love. i'm off to school for exam. wish me luck. i wish love | |
사랑해요 | |
| mug~ | 1:29 AM |
before i start mugging for the fucking oral and blah blah blah... let me blog some shits. honestly speaking so much to say... but i don't know how to say... still the same old line... i so want him back. i so so want him back. | |
사랑해요 | |
| leaving... | Wednesday, February 08, 2006 10:01 AM |
when i'm gone... i wish you will think about me. i wish you will miss me. i wish you will love me again. i wish you will realize i really love you; need you. i wish you will realize i am a part of your life; a part of your heart. when i come back... i wish you will tell me how much you miss me. i wish you will tell me how much you need me. i wish you will tell me how much you love me. i wish you will come back to me. | |
사랑해요 | |
| screwed | Tuesday, February 07, 2006 1:57 AM |
to euu - he makes me feel worse each time. i dont need him; dont want him. to him - we can't. i can't. to tin9 - thanks for being there. for all the things you said. to the dirty old stalker - you dont know how you freakin' screwed me up! but that's ok. i'll be fine. i have tin9 =) | |
사랑해요 | |
| no | Monday, February 06, 2006 7:55 PM |
i'm not letting go =) | |
사랑해요 | |
| fear | 12:47 AM |
i wake up morning after morning... knowing what i fear. knowing what i am afraid of. i cannot breathe when you're not around. but for you i hold... the very last breath. counting down to the very day... you come right back to me. i need you so much. i want you so bad. do you know i need you to come back? i'd do anything... | |
사랑해요 | |
| i need more time | Saturday, February 04, 2006 5:27 AM |
i don't have time anymore. i have to wake up right now. even if it's just for now. 3ciA please get everything done. for him... that's the only reason to carry on right now. 3ciA do it please. be strong... for him... | |
사랑해요 | |
| i wish | Friday, February 03, 2006 9:57 AM |
i wish he would come back. i wish he would be happy. i wish he gets what\who he wants. i wish he understand that no one else can give me happiness like he does. i wish love could be measured so he knows how much i love him. i wish he still loves me. i wish he will always love me. i wish he knew that i gave my everything. i wish he knew that i need him. i wish we will start afresh. no matter how long... i will wait... one day my love will come back... i still wish he would come back... | |
사랑해요 | |
| SHUT UP | 1:31 AM |
don't tell me he loves me anymore. it's not even true. it's just the result of thinking too much. that is him... that's what he does. it isn't because of me.. quit thinking about it! wanna hear me talk? i'd say my heart's so occupied. i can't take in no more. there's nothing i can do right now so stop telling me those things. today, tomorrow, the day after and so on... NO! i can't do anything! because i so freaking still love my ex boyfriend. get it? | |
사랑해요 | |
| why? | 12:34 AM |
i cried again tonight. it's just no matter how happy i try to be there's a shadow i can't hide. there's a fear i can't hide. i can lie to the world. but i cannot fool myself. obviously missing him... but i can't say anything. i can't do anything... i cried... because of what? because i miss him? because i can't get what i want? because i lost to love again? i don't know... i just lost control... and i guess that's the only time i can cry too. alone in the middle of the night. nobody knows. nobody can see. nobody gets hurt... but me. i thought i'm supposed to be happy. | |
사랑해요 | |
| lie? truth? | Thursday, February 02, 2006 3:33 PM |
is it a lie? or is it true? even if it's all a lie... i don't mind. will he lie on forever? if it's real... then come back. because i need you still. | |
사랑해요 | |
| ... | Wednesday, February 01, 2006 4:15 PM |
i am happy. am i? does that matter anyway? guess not so much. i believe i'm content. i'm very much loved. i so understand. loving someone doesn't mean being with him. i will live on for someone. for life > death and he will always remember this one girl... who lived on just for him =) i have a treasure i must keep. i have a reason i must protect. i am the luckiest girl in the world. i am still the princess =) i know it | |
사랑해요 | |