| work-out day | Friday, June 29, 2007 12:28 AM |
is it just me or is yushan's tea sweeter? (: the weather is horrible man. don't you wish you're at aussie now having winter? seriously, i can't stand this heat. is it like 50 degrees celcius or what? i think i'm melting! air-con anyone? ever sat down and thought about the future? in your vision, was i a part of you? my idea... i want to give you the best of everything i can do. and i don't know why, not anymore. | |
사랑해요 | |
| goodbye for now | Thursday, June 28, 2007 12:55 AM |
8 days full of jonathan. now, what am i going to do after this? i'm poorer than i ever thought i'll be. so friends, do me a favour ): but of course i still had to get stuff for my darlings today. i totally love jono's gift and i'm glad he likes it too! erm, you like right? haha. what if i went back to the past? what if i still remember everything? it's the closest i ever got to screaming quit today. but it's the first time we ever had a conversation proper. like with feelings in it. like jokes. like fun. like we never did as far as i can remember. was it really us? | |
사랑해요 | |
| uncle gabby is back! | Wednesday, June 27, 2007 1:21 AM |
gabriel!!! so long never talk to you already!!! now you know my difficulties right. so pitiful hor? ): haha. well, i still got to meet jono this afternoon. i guess it's the one time he came back that i'm seeing him so often. and it makes me happy! yay! but yeah, this is gonna be over sooner than i hope. life's gonna return to normal again and it won't be so exciting anymore for another few months. i hope dennis will like what jono and i got for his 21st. it made me cabbed down and back and late for work. better be worth the trip and effort and money. great news... it's off day tomorrow!!! bad news... it's perhaps one last day of jono. why, after 4 years of him leaving and returning, do i still feel like crying? haha. i guess that's my pal! (: | |
사랑해요 | |
| hate / love | Tuesday, June 26, 2007 2:57 AM |
come on. if you have anything to say, just shoot. i promise not to bite. seriously, what's the point of holding back? it brings us no where. tell me everything lah! had work today. met the guys for dinner. and finally had mudpie with my dearest jono! =D   yeah i must admit how terribly upset i am over the enrolment issue. but thank God my days have been blessed with this and that... well, you know what i mean. more stories other time, i'm dead tired already. your words, still as gold to me as they ever could be. tell me what i see isn't real. but all of it's just in my mind ; my world. like as if you'll ever know. time to nod. | |
사랑해요 | |
| seven | Sunday, June 24, 2007 2:36 AM |
captain's ball was fine today. supposed to go OCC with 'em but went to find jono instead. to be honest, i was really really really upset. i mean, it's been 7 years of us walking together. i try my best not to let matters get between us. i try my best to hold back the bad. still, i can't help but feel i really am on my own. sometimes you all leave me to wonder, do you guys seriously care? yeah, i know it's over and there's no point bawling or such. i hope jono manages to wake up on time. i know it's tiring and all but yes, it's a big deal. like yesheng says, the people who can make me happy in this world are only those few. guys, you know 7 years is not for nothing. it hasn't been easy being the girl out of all of you. even if i may seem much less than one, i still do feel like one. and i need you to know it hurts to cry alone. 7 years already. i want to go on counting. | |
사랑해요 | |
| timbre. | Saturday, June 23, 2007 1:33 AM |
can you believe it? jono came for cell with me tonight! i don't think i need to say how very happy i am. it shows doesn't it? =D unfortunately, i didn't know they're like gonna 'stayover' at church office. so yup, i have to come back home. so sad!!! if that's what he sees, then maybe it's time i stop doubting, start believing. it's a place like home should be.  jono and i at Timbre. it's a really nice place. and Timmy incidentally played my all time fav song! i guess if i tried, i could write more than an essay of this dude. he can be really really annoying and gets on my nerves big time... i mean, yah la i know i'm irritating as well... but i hate it each time he has to go back to school. how i first met him back in secondary one... and all the tears i've shed dealing with his departures at the very beginning. come to think of it, it's been like 7 years since i knew him and 5 years since he's been away? and i still wish he'd stay around for good. he never ever reads this blog i know... and i guess that's why i'm posting this... it's like i normally can't provide practical advices... but when shit happens, i'll be around man. i wish this friendship will be for like ever, you know? | |
사랑해요 | |
| =) | Thursday, June 21, 2007 8:09 PM |
i'm so so happy to see jono! you think he really will go for service with me this sunday? hmm... i'm really really glad he's back. again (: but i miss daryl! haha... i made sushi for family, successfully, again. i guess that's worth a yay? for school kids, holiday is coming to an end. and i'm still clueless when GB is resuming parade. tell me, should i care? sometimes i feel like screaming at you. sometimes i wish you'd just leave me alone. i can't even breathe for goodness sake! | |
사랑해요 | |
| back to work | Wednesday, June 20, 2007 12:43 AM |
i wanted to wake up at 7am to bid Daryl and YuShan good bye. but... i forgot!!! so annoying leh. why i forget!? sigh... anyway, i hope they're doing fine there (: today's back to work for me after a 'break'. wasn't quite a holiday but you get what i mean. so, yeah i'm pretty tired now and it's still a packed week ahead. it's weird, if your frequency and mine matches. 'cuz suddenly there's nothing to look forward to. but then again... there was nothing to anticipate before either. oh wells. i hope jono is fine. and i hope i'll see him soon. | |
사랑해요 | |
| reality again | Sunday, June 17, 2007 10:21 PM |
it's been days since camp was over. i'm still buzzing around like busy bee. came back earlier yesterday just so i can catch up with rest. fathers' day celebration at upper seletar reservoir park turned out much better than i expected. the weather was great, seriously. and it's so nice there!  with all that's happening around, i kinda lost track of time. if only, i just click on the send button on outlook... of late, i heard a friend say... | |
사랑해요 | |
| church camp | 7:54 PM |
i'm finally getting down to blog about camp. well first i got to thank God for such an opportunity. resuming my walk of faith since beginning of this year... seems as though things have been put in place just waiting for me to journey through. of course i've faced my downs... yet each time i review these past months, i never did give up... simply because it's all meant to be. yes, it hasn't been a breeze... but God lain down for me this path i already am walking on. and He knew just the way to bring me back.  here's the view of the resort from my room's balcony. yeah, that's the pool i swam in all 3 days. behind all the trees, wayyyy at the back... yup! that's the sea. so nice right! (:  this is my bed and rachel's bed beside. you see the phone? yeah, we have this really cool operator system when you call room 511. haha! don't believe? ask those who called.  that's my balcony and i'm pretty sure i can climb over to room 512 from it. pity daryl and kei ended up not bunking in there, you know. we make great neighbours, really!  rachel in her shrek ears.  e-liz my other roomie who isn't any saner.  we did the classic yum-seng thing over dinner once. apparently, i couldn't get a good picture of it.  went for our own seafood lunch because we didn't sign up for the fruit farm tour. see hungry kuen snatching food!!! haha kidding.  the sweetest. esther gave joash a friendly little peck!!! okay lah, that's alot of pictures already. if you really really really really want more... just chat me up on msn, duh. | |
사랑해요 | |
| trust | 12:28 AM |
i've always understood the importance of trust and i've been proud of myself knowing i was way more than worthy of it. but some days ago i made this terrible mistake. now i'm thinking... have i changed? i so wish everything was just a nightmare. or that i can just turn back time. the tremendous guilt i cannot even explain... just how much forgiveness exactly does one person deserve? all drenched in guilt. just like i once told you... it's just a matter of time before you realise i'm not such a great person after all. maybe now is the time? i'm sorry. | |
사랑해요 | |
| busy | Saturday, June 16, 2007 3:39 PM |
it's awfully difficult to sit down and actually blog something lately. life's either too busy or i don't know what to write and what not. all i know is everything's still running through my mind. i'll be lying if i said i wish i didn't know... because i'm sure i'd want to know every little thing. between you and i, all i can see is distance and darkness. i even tried my best to be a friend. just friend. you get it or not? so God, show me your plans. why was he the one? why am i here? why? | |
사랑해요 | |
| them | Wednesday, June 13, 2007 6:04 PM |
seriously, it's not what i'd picture things to be. it's what i'd been afraid would happen. of course i laugh at it like it's the funniest joke of the season... like as if i find pleasure in annoying you like this. but no, each step i take just brings me closer and closer to a truth that'll break me apart. tell me it isn't real, please? | |
사랑해요 | |
| right here waiting | Saturday, June 09, 2007 12:38 AM |
oceans apart ; day after day. and i slowly go insane i hear your voice on the line but it doesn't stop the pain i see you next to never how can we stay forever wherever you go ; whatever you do i will be right here waiting for you whatever it takes or how my heart breaks i will be right here waiting for you i don't think i'll have the time to blog tomorrow. and then after that i'll be away. so, good bye for now people. till we meet again, i guess. | |
사랑해요 | |
| 5 days this week | Friday, June 08, 2007 2:03 AM |
it was a good day, i would say. but people have the wrong impression of my life. i don't eat, sleep, shit. okay daryl!? i'm busy... like real busy, seriously! i love pepper water. not ): hahaha. the light of recent days i've seen. time just isn't what it used to be. this clock never seemed so alive. seems just yesterday i said church camp is still so far away. now it's already only 2 days away. and i really wonder what it's gonna be like over there. let's just commit everything to the Lord... and pray for whatever is to come. He is in control. if you agree with me, then it's time to just submit. even so, i know it's all not easy. how then do i re-write regrets? can i turn back to what i've never done? and i worship you, Lord. my life in You restored. here is my heart, make it Your sanctuary. for nobody else but Jesus only You. how faithful and true, glorious Lord. all my life is in You, i adore. You've touched my heart. completed my world i surrender to You. | |
사랑해요 | |
| what should i do? | Tuesday, June 05, 2007 11:21 PM |
what should i do? the selfishness in me... will pain in you i cause? you don't know but perhaps understand. i'm scared because i don't know your next step. i'm scared because if you come any closer, you'll discover my darkest truths. i know you'd mind. i know it matters. i know we can't paint a beautiful picture. it's not all just inside of me. this is the world. where i am right now... the furthest i'll go... is not very far from here. even at this very moment of silence... i'm guessing it is about me. for the third time, what should i do? i can't find the words. seems everything is harder than before. harder than i thought it'd be. | |
사랑해요 | |
| another week | Sunday, June 03, 2007 8:53 PM |
i can barely keep my eyes open. weekends like this simply kills me. my entire week is so packed! what's new? haha. well, church camp coming up. start missing me already people (: | |
사랑해요 | |
| just let me say... | Friday, June 01, 2007 11:16 PM |
not so afraid anymore. but somewhere in my heart, i know there's a part. it stays the same and always will. no, i'm not moving on. still, i do not understand what it is that captivates me. no, i'm not getting used to it. still, i hope will all my might that you will never leave. you know the song iris? read it; feel it. and i'd give up forever to touch you cause i know that you feel me somehow you're the closest to heaven that i'll ever be and i don't want to go home right now and all i can taste is this moment and all i can breathe is your life cause sooner or later it's over i just don't want to miss you tonight and i don't want the world to see me cause i don't think that they'd understand when everything's made to be broken i just want you to know who i am and you can't fight the tears that ain't coming or the moment of truth in your lies when everything feels like the movies yeah you bleed just to know you're alive and i don't want the world to see me cause i don't think that they'd understand when everything's made to be broken i just want you to know who i am and i don't want the world to see me cause i don't think that they'd understand when everything's made to be broken i just want you to know who i am and i don't want the world to see me cause i don't think that they'd understand when everything's made to be broken i just want you to know who i am really. more than i ever thought of me. you've made this seem so interesting. i've spent days and nights to phantom the mystery within you. hmm, why don't you just tell me the whole story now? guessing isn't my game, geddit? i never meant it to be that way. but now that you've said... maybe it is where, i've come to learn, a place i can just be me. the ear to listen; the shoulder to cry. just maybe. | |
사랑해요 | |