| 31st December 2006 | Sunday, December 31, 2006 2:41 PM |
2006 practically breezed pass me. i hardly had the time to breathe and now a brand new year's on its way. growing up is painful... | |
사랑해요 | |
| night at the museum | Saturday, December 30, 2006 5:16 AM |
guess what? I SAW DYLAN !!! so anyway... ya i'm still awake. thinking and thinking... and very afraid... because graduation suddenly all seem so very near. i remember the days... the joy, the laughter and of course the pain. how pure, how innocent, how absolutely harmless. so many nights, so many dawns... there we were basking in our very own world. why did you build this wall of ice? why have you turned away? i don't have a lot of time... to make you change your ways... the years we spent... how long more will we have to waste? | |
사랑해요 | |
| i want coke | Friday, December 29, 2006 4:08 PM |
yeap. it's been a while since i blogged. so... i'm back from malaysia with yet another pair of boots (: i'm craving for coke right NOW... and dying to go to town. i have a pair of movie tix to claim and i haven't got a plan. holiday's ending. i really hate what's coming... she's right about you. they're right about you. it took me a long time. but now i know why. | |
사랑해요 | |
| christmas eve | Sunday, December 24, 2006 2:53 PM |
woke up with a terrible tummy upset... head feeling heavy... uber thirsty... my tummy still hurts... i wish i can cuddle teddies in bed and wrap myself in blanket all day. it seriously hurts... but i'm off to work. the christmas eve with loads of trouble | |
사랑해요 | |
| tonight | Friday, December 22, 2006 2:23 AM |
i wish tonight will never end. don't bother asking why 'cuz i don't think i know. i still feel like crap though. i'm sorry sis for everything and everything. i never meant to piss you off. i love you. and sorry to disappoint someone. but i didn't tell on you... neither did i tell on him... come on. i have better things to do. | |
사랑해요 | |
| future | Thursday, December 21, 2006 1:50 AM |
one week is almost up. i've only gotten a couple of pages done for one miserable project. another year is just around the corner. i'll be graduating soon. what's next? what is the next step to take? what is the right thing to do? i........... am scared | |
사랑해요 | |
| rain | Tuesday, December 19, 2006 3:23 PM |
the rain w0uldn't stop. the pain wouldn't stop. what should i do? | |
사랑해요 | |
| 累 | Monday, December 18, 2006 2:14 AM |
我辛辛苦苦努力着放弃我要的快乐. 用真心来祝福你们. 请你...... 一定要让他幸福. i shouldn't have turned back... | |
사랑해요 | |
| your answer | Sunday, December 17, 2006 1:16 PM |
what is giving up? if not asking for more is giving up, then yes i've given up. if not thinking back and quiting "what-ifs" is giving up, then no i've not given up. what is love? if accepting everything unconditionally is love, then yes i love you. if being contented with all the things i accepted is love, then no i don't love you. i don't know what to do. i don't know what to say. you make me feel like i'm standing in your way. the first time you left me stranded, hurt and disappointed. the second time there wasn't even a proper good bye. now, the third time i'm so sick of the game you're playing. i kept trying but i kept crying. i can't erase the memories of you tellin' how important she is. i can't convince myself that i'm better than her. you can't possibly imagined the tremor i've went through just by knowing her. i've never felt more inferior these 19 years of my life. and there you were assuring me that she is right. i'm sorry for being weak but no... i'm not strong enough to handle all that crap. i never will be. somehow, she's still in your life. somehow, i hate to share. | |
사랑해요 | |
| ... | Friday, December 15, 2006 6:05 PM |
you didn't want me to be the last person to know. but i already am. | |
사랑해요 | |
| i need sleep | 1:35 AM |
i remember how much i hated her. and i thought maybe it's all over. but no... somehow in a corner of my heart it hid... today it got sick of hide-and-seek. don't tell me you love me... because i know you haven't gotten over her. you probably never will... that's what you've always told me after all. because there are a million things that i've wanted you to do... but you've refused and rejected me... and came back saying i never told you. maybe you'll hate me for everything... just simply because i never learnt how to forget. i remember how you were there to hold my hand. but i remember how i didn't want you to be the one right there. and i certainly don't understand how one of us is always not there. when you did so much... i took you for granted. when i did so much... everything just breezed pass you. if i had the courage... i'd ask you for nothing but the truth. i remember all the things we did... how wrong everthing was... still it felt right to be in your arms... maybe because i needed the sweetness in my life. but now, where did the feeling go? so tired i'm going to die. | |
사랑해요 | |
| Thursday, December 14, 2006 1:16 AM | |
IT3847's paper will be crap. i just know it. 'cuz i dont freaking know what's going on in ITIL. h.a.h.a. [ have you changed? are you still waiting for me? where should i bury the past? where can i hide the pain? how long will it take to erase away... the jagged edges of a beautiful painting? ] [ there was once... there were twice... and there were a couple more than that... it made me happy... then you made me sad... you said we can go back... why do i feel like it's a lil bit too late? ] [ the untold truth revealed... something i already knew... saw this day coming... saw this pain coming... enough of tears... enough of fears... a moment ago i've been through `em all... this time i tell myself... & perhaps you as well... for the umpteeth time... just be happy and remember that i'll always be here. ] qianwen. let's go shopping soon (: zijing. i hope you're fine (: ivy. where's our boots?! | |
사랑해요 | |
| morning shift x.x | Wednesday, December 13, 2006 10:51 AM |
yeah i'm dead tired. and i'm on the morning shift. and i've done all the things by myself and lincy isn't here yet. and it's not yet 11am. so ta-da~ i'm blogging. paper later... geez i hope it'll be fine =x i mean like... on top of all the crap... i really wish that at least one thing will go fine. yes i still have alot more to say... but i guess it's time to unlock the door =\ so... later peeps~ | |
사랑해요 | |
| thanks, i guess | Tuesday, December 12, 2006 2:01 AM |
thanks for checking up but you weren't even home laaaa !!!! how long would i wanna hide? perhaps, as long as it makes your life easier. perhaps, as long as it takes for me to get out of the mess. whichever is shorter will do. it takes a simple gesture to make my day. and i know i'm not asking for too much. back to my same old question... if one day i'm gone... will people realised i'm not there anymore? | |
사랑해요 | |
| shuddup | 1:10 AM |
if you have anything to say about me. say it in front of me. if you think i've been doing shit... then prove it that you can do it better than me. otherwise, shuddup and SHUT UP. right, you can blame the entire world but yourself. did you think we'd die without you? or are you one of those kids who needs that much attention? oh please i beg you... answer yourself honestly... have i been a passenger sitting around watching the passing scenary? can i answer the question for you? NO I HAVEN'T... quit your shits or rot in hell... you have the honour to decide for yourself. and some other totally unrelated randoms as follows... i realised how exhausting it is to be the one talking all the time. how much you put in to see everyone smile... hear everyone laugh... at the end of the day... you turn into the crude one... if you just sat there and laugh... you're the cute one... depressing i know it sounds... but let's just say... i've learnt my lesson. i'm still sorry that it has to be you... but you've changed and it's all i can say. i'm not the only person who thinks this way. now everybody hates you... you've brought it upon yourself. zijing. we should have a suki session soon (: i love u sis! | |
사랑해요 | |
| hungry | Monday, December 11, 2006 2:16 AM |
it wasn't a bad day... just nothing significant enough worth mentioning. i'm not sad... i'm just not happy. if only secrets weren't so hard to keep from you. then perhaps i wouldn't feel like you've drifted away... i know... i sound like a retard. after all... i'm not okay. | |
사랑해요 | |
| laters ~ | Sunday, December 10, 2006 3:00 AM |
everytime i turn away... i know it's a choice i've made... i remember how i lied through everything... and brought myself to today... yesterday, i was smiling... we were playing... somewhere deep in the darkness of my heart... hides this special secret... i just couldn't let distance fight it away... the way i thought it would... when a while ago i heard that word... my heart didn't sink terribly but i wasn't too thrilled over it. yes, isn't that how i felt a couple of fridays ago? it's too early to say anything now... it's too late to fight everything now... it's 3.28am now... guess i shall leave this with an abrupt ene. see you later. | |
사랑해요 | |
| something about you | Saturday, December 09, 2006 8:34 PM |
so much to say... so hard to say... something about you... something i've never met until i saw you... i don't understand... and i guess i never will... but the best way i know... is never to say how i really feel. it's odd... too hard for me to read beyond my heart... why did everything about you become so impossible to stop thinking about? | |
사랑해요 | |
| screams x 1000000 | Friday, December 08, 2006 3:17 AM |
i'm so tired my headache's comin' back. but oh wells... so many things to do. one million screams ): you still have the shoulders i wanna lean on. but this time i wish i can tell you everything. from the start till all it is today. and then come to think of it. i really don't know what to say. a while happy... a while not... how very queer. sometimes it matters. sometimes it hurts. sometimes it's okay like it's yet just another day. it's hard not to care... it's easy when he's there... | |
사랑해요 | |
| zijing's birthday | Thursday, December 07, 2006 2:08 AM |
first of all... HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY SIS ! i love you loads (: getting my lappy tomorrow. erm.. yay? i know i'm gonna be so freaking broke thereafter. how nice. no la i think it's just for the month. but isn't it wonderful to know that i finally can do something about my projects? isn't it awful to dread my sister's coming back? holiday is coming... why am i not excited? anyway. YEY ruben is working tomorrow! =D | |
사랑해요 | |
| cries | Wednesday, December 06, 2006 1:48 AM |
thanks zijing. alot. i know my mum agreed to pay for it first... but you still trusted me enough to be around. i needed that. love you sis! you don't know how much i'm hating home right now. with sister away in hongkong... things are still happening... i'm just glad that at least there's a place in the house that i can lock myself in and have some peace for now. the tears just keep coming... and i can't help but wonder why... what makes him think she'll always be better than me? they don't remember the little girl who sat at the stove waiting for the water to boil. they don't remember the little girl who closed the windows everytime the rain comes. they don't remember the little girl who swept the floor and folded the blankets. they only remember the girl who cries too much. they only remember the girl who didn't score 260 for PSLE. they only remember the girl who isn't home all the time. i was the one crying when both of them were fighting. i was the one helping him when they were repremanding him. i was the one chatting with her when she couldn't sleep at night. i was the one giving her spares whenever i could afford. all i ever wanted... was for them to understand what i really want. but i realised after all these years... perhaps telling them right in the face isn't gonna work either. family... something i don't hate... unfortunately i don't love either. it's hard being alone... because i need a shoulder to cry on. | |
사랑해요 | |
| me ? | Tuesday, December 05, 2006 3:41 PM |
so bored in class i had to do something stupid like this. http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx Your view on yourself: You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties. The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for: You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes. Your readiness to commit to a relationship: You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship. The seriousness of your love: Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates. Your views on education: Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can. The right job for you: You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life. How do you view success: You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous. What are you most afraid of: You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear. Who is your true self: You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve. how true is this? decipher it. | |
사랑해요 | |
| sleeeep | 2:01 AM |
oooh i had my hair highlighted still in the end... i have no idea what the colour is called... but it turned out closer to the sample than kel's choice. HAHAHA! anyways i'm like so tired now. i'm so anticipating later (: but that's like many many more hours to go. i hope it's good news i can bring back to tiamo for ivy!!! i thought it's over... joke's over ; hope's over... but now i see... right in front of me... it's back and growing... stronger & stronger... do you sense trouble... scrambling in wonder... | |
사랑해요 | |
| ): | Monday, December 04, 2006 1:21 PM |
dye hair with kel later maybe. but like not much time. sighs~ | |
사랑해요 | |
| lapppppy | 1:02 AM |
uhh yea... i'm not in bed yet. rushin' tomorrow's presentation and report. i can't wait for the IT3860 presentation after tomorrow's. cuz IT'S THE LAST FOR THE MODULE! ivy's got the lappy... to think we were supposed to get it together ): let's hope i get it by this week... then i'll at least be able to get started on some projects. no more sitting in the dark struggling to get work done in desperation. i don't feel awkward... but who wouldn't be sad? i'm not desperate... i'm just disappointed... but i'm okay... as long as you are fine... `cuz i totally understand... there's nothing we could do. life goes on... perhaps one day i'll move on... i'll be around when you need an ear. count on me... you know you can trust me... remember my name... remember me... once upon a time... there was a girl like me. (: | |
사랑해요 | |
| how ? | Sunday, December 03, 2006 7:02 AM |
it's seven in the morning... you'd think i woke up early... i know this sounds silly... but i'm sorry i was busy... a smile that melts... the eyes that read... i knew i couldn't do this and i had to leave. the pain i've endured... the tears i've shed... i had every single reason... because you weren't there... try... maybe one day i need to go back. | |
사랑해요 | |
| i am tired | Saturday, December 02, 2006 4:01 PM |
the life i wanna lead. the you i'll always need. from where i sit. i know there's more to it. i'm sorry... for the many times i need to turn around. it's just a break... so that later on i can smile. when you're down... don't forget ; don't fret. take a step... here i will be. i'm still that me... and i always will be. | |
사랑해요 | |
| FRIDAY! | Friday, December 01, 2006 3:33 AM |
today, or rather yesterday, i went to j8 with ivy. and we came back rather excited over our new findings. i know i owe plenty of people explanations. i'm sorry i don't have time for all of that right now. i don't mean to sound bitchy but... i seriously have so much to do. so much to think about. if anyone can help me... i'll appreciate a hand now. sorry pat i keep turning down your dates. sorry yesheng i keep delaying the lunch. sorry clarence i keep turning away. sorry wanyi we don't have time to talk. sorry anthony we couldn't go for supper. sorry if i missed out anyone else. if there's one thing i've realised since everything started happening... it must be how my eyes suck at lying. meanwhile... so much to do so little time. so ya... off to get some school work done before i start a terribly hectic weekend. i know i know... it's already what time now~ *rolls eyes* | |
사랑해요 | |